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Different Case Approach

How About Taking A Different, More Holistic Case Approach?

I have focused my practice on handling thousands of domestic relations, family law, divorce, and custody matters for over 40 years. I have come to believe that the ”win at all cost” philosophy in divorce matters is antiquated, misguided, and not usually a prudent approach to pursue for a multitude of reasons.

I believe that utilizing a more holistic and collaborative approach to “uncouple” spouses is generally much wiser, effective, and results in better tailor-made solutions. Don’t get me wrong, contested litigation proceedings are still needed, but should primarily be reserved for situations where a spouse is taking unreasonable positions or if you have to defend yourself from this “bullyish” type of approach.

Part of the problem in the traditional divorce process is that it starts a chain of events which can quickly take on a life of its own, leaving the litigants feeling stressed and powerless, often along with a HUGE legal bill! Most people can come to more comprehensive and client focused settlement utilizing a more collaborative “team” approach, including appropriate professionals such as financial advisors, CPA’s, appraisers, certified divorce financial analysts and counselors/therapists. The process aims to take on a more client focused perspective and incorporate alternative dispute resolution techniques (ADR)  including mediation and collaborative law. To read more about these ADR methods, click here.

 Are Children Involved?

This approach of course works well with financial issues. But I would even go so far as to suggest that if there are children involved, that the kids must be prioritized and protected. The traditional divorce court process does not do that. Please understand that children typically have a difficult time comprehending the adult reasons behind their parents’ divorce. While Judges try to focus on the children’s best interests, the court process itself is so segmented, and takes a very long time to obtain a Guardian Ad Litem’s (GAL) report (which often itself causes trauma to the child). The purpose of a GAL investigation is to make written recommendations as to what custody/parenting arrangement is in the child’s best interest. Unfortunately, however, these GAL interviews are often confusing and troubling to the kids. Further, they inherently pit the Mother and Father against each other typically trying to prove that they are the “best” parent! How is this GAL interview process good for anyone? Don’t parents need to find common ground (and subordinate the reasons for the divorce) and get along in the future prioritizing the needs of their children? How about utilizing a more compassionate process so your children do not feel caught in the middle, or unfortunately even worse, being used as a bargaining chip or even as a weapon against the other parent.

 More about the Collaborative Approach

As the name implies, this is a collaboration between two spouses. It is not an adversarial proceeding as is a divorce. Collaborative law involves a specific dispute resolution process that encourages the partners to work together in good faith to negotiate and settle their “uncoupling” without needing to file for a divorce and request court intervention.

Each party secures his/her own attorney, and with their guidance, exchanges all asset, debt, retirement, and financial information, as well as other items needed to make a full and complete disclosure.

The goal of this is to end the process having resolved ALL divorce, property division, support, custody, parenting time and ancillary issues and then file a joint no-fault agreed-upon dissolution action.